An open letter to Martha Stewart.

Dear Martha,

Why do you have to put so many good ideas out there? Is it not enough that I can barely put a complex sentence together that you have to go and come up with 7 ways to sew a man’s shirt into sheets and pillows, a cookie of the day recipe, 11 Easter card ideas, and six mood-boosting yoga poses – all before 5:00? My God woman. Be kind to your sisters. Relax a little on the craftiness. Maybe hold off on giving us tips on how to spring-clean our house with a toothbrush and baking soda (we’ve just taken down the heart gels from our Valentine’s windows for goodness sake). Give us a moment before we leap off another craft cliff into glitter and glue depths. We can’t do it all.

(Especially without all the 2001 people that we know you have working for you and making it look simple. Yeah, you heard me.)

Anyway, Martha. Go easy on us.

Hearts and flowers.



1 Comment

Filed under Handcrafted

One response to “An open letter to Martha Stewart.

  1. Jennifer

    Hey Kelli!
    I recently remembered that you told me you had a blog, so after sifting through all my bookmarks, I found it!!
    Beside the point though. What I wanted to say it this: I think Martha Stewart is the devil. THE DEVIL. Seriously, her whole existence makes me feel like so inadequate. I cannot cook from her cookbooks! I do not want to go outside and grind my own whole wheat flour before I make a damn pie!
    I won’t even go into the sewing, the cleaning, the whimsical articles on family life with pets, etc.
    This is not to say that you, like many of my friends, should not find joy within the pages of Martha Stewart Living. But I curse her!!!
    To make myself feel less inadequate, I deemed myself the anti-Martha a few years ago. Seriously, I’ve never attempted to make one of the kids birthday cakes from scratch – they get cupcakes from a box mix. They get store-bought Halloween costumes. They get store-bought Valentine cards.
    Right now, my mom is probably hanging her head in shame 🙂
    I know, this is so much more than you ever wanted to know about my relationship with Martha. But after reading your love-hate letter to Martha, I just couldn’t keep myself from chiming in!
    Anyways. Take care!

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